steve's White Mountain Blog

Just the truth plain and simple….

*Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

*A Flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

*A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

*It’s better to understand a little than misunderstand a lot.

*It may be lonely at the top, but you eat better.

*Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye opener

*Never do card tricks in front of your poker buddies

*The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body needs to be on it.

*The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

*The problem with the gene pool is there is no lifeguard.

*The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.

*Warning: Dates in the calendar are closer than they appear.

*Friends help you move. Real Friends help you move bodies

*You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word

*Your Kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.

*If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything!!

                               And…

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone!!...I mean it stop following me. But Subscribe to my blog!!

This Is why we Forward Jokes to Our Friends.
 



A  man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the 
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was  dead.

He  remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for 
years.. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After  a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the
road.  It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by
a  tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When  he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that 
looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked  like
pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got  closer, he saw
a man at a desk to one side.  

                                                                         

When  he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are  we?'

'This  is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some
 water?' the man asked.

Of  course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right 
up.'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can  my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler 
asked.

'I'm  sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The  man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued 
the way he had been going with his dog.



After  another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a
dirt  road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been 
closed. There was no fence.

As  he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and 
reading a book.

'Excuse  me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah,  sure, there's a pump over there, come on in..'

'How  about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the  dog.

'There  should be a bowl by the pump.'

They  went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand
 pump with a bowl beside it.



The  traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he
gave  some to the dog.



When  they were full , he and the dog walked back toward the man who was 
standing by the tree.

'What  do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This  is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well,  that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said
that was  Heaven, too.'

'Oh,  you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's 
hell.'

'Doesn't  it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No,  we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their
best  friends behind.'

Soooo...

Sometimes,  we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing
a  word.

Maybe  this will explain.



When  you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do?
You  forward jokes.

When  you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward 
jokes.

When  you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you
 forward jokes.

Also  to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important,
 you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you  get?

A  forwarded joke.

So,  next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just 
another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your  friend on
the other end of your computer wanted to send you a  smile.



You  are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!

Friends forward Friends Jokes..go ahead and Share this one!
www.loonmtrealtor.com

What I think he meant to say if he meant to say what I think he said, if he was talking about real estate.

"This is  like deja vu all over again" I have been through a few economic cycles in my 25 year career, and even though we are down we are not out.

"I want to thank you for making this day necessary" I'm thinking a forced property sale due to a divorce - but in fact Yogi was talking about "appreciation day in St. Louis"

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him"  If you aren't Donald Trump, you can't be like Donald Trump.

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it"  Directions on the MLS sheet.

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too Crowded" The Monthly Realtors Meetings

"I take a two hour nap, From one O'clock to Four" I have floor time every Tuesday.

"The other team could make trouble for us if they win" The old story of market share.

"I didn't really say everything I said" Promises reminded at the closing table, with buyers attorney there.

"You can observe a lot just by watching" Listen twice as much as you speak and you learn a lot more.

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else". Remember to under promise and over deliver- not the other way around, that gets expensive.

"A nickel isn't worth a dime today" It's not all about the money..it's also about the time.

"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase"..The first known quote about the value of staging.

"You should always go to other people's funerals: otherwise they would come to yours" If you only work with loved ones you'll have a very short career. Now get out there and mingle- you could meet your next wife at someones Wedding..that's where I met my Divorce attorney.